Misconception of Deidre

Depression 101

Everything sucks, everybody sucks.

Bi-polar 101

Everything sucks, everybody sucks. Everything is wonderful, everyone is wonderful.

This is probably why none of my ideas or plans work, I hate you, no, I love you. I change my mind a billion times and I cannot stick with one idea or another. “I want a blog about my everyday life”. This idea bites ass, you know why? Because my life is boring, it’s shit. I am not Lindsey Lohan with an extravagant life and teach people how to make lines of coke and snort smoothly, like a lady of course. No! My life can be summed up with a simply math problem:

Variable (a) represents me

Variable (b) represents everyone else

Variable (c) represents everything I do

A < B>C= SHIT!

Let me break it down for you

I am less than everyone else and what everybody does is greater then what I do and what I do equals SHIT!

Wow, that’s emo…. Moving on

Ok screw the math portion of this rant and oh wait, that reminds me of this blog I “stumbled upon” where this chick was doing this math doodling thing and everyone thought she was great, which she was, she made the genuine ORIGNAL idea into a blog, bravo! Plus she was super smart… enough about her ass, more about me.

I am pretending I am at a meeting for people who deal with the same issues like I do (AA) (NA) ect.

“Hello, my name is Deidre.”

*Hello Deidre*

“I am a raging manic depressive who takes a pill a day to keep the cops away. :)”

-end scene-

You know that I still surprise myself that I can spell things correctly that I have no idea how to spell. I must be hooked on phonics, that shit really worked out for me, thanks mom and dad.

I try to get along with everyone I meet but some people rub me the wrong way, you know what I mean? You get this feeling that in a couple hours you end up sucker punching them, ya know?

I used to be very influential, when I wound meet a new person I would make sure that I liked what they liked and hated what they hated. Some people would say I did not have a back bone, I would say I was a deprived child with a horrific disease known as backbonelessiousness studied by backbonelessiouist, and the study of backbonelessiousness is called backbonelessiousology. Which with age goes away on its one, no worries…. Be fucking happy!

I’m hungry.

My laptop sucks ass you know that?! It has been unplugged for like 5 minutes and the damn battery is dead, motherfucking piece of shit hell whore! Gateway owes me some money for use this damn thing for how long now… 5 years! I need an upgrade, oh but that costs money which I have none, bitch.

I hate shower curtains, they get that hard water residue on them and it’s a bitch to get off, unless you wash it in the washing machine but it will come back like next day. It’s reminds me of washing your car when you fucking know that it’s going to rain, duh! Dumbasses.

So sometimes I think about what would be different in my life if I made different choices, does that make me a bad person? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but I just wonder, and it makes me sad to think about it.

I need a cigarette.

I hate people who quit smoking, good for you that you did it, now shut the fuck up! Self riotous bastards.

I think I need to see a therapist or a counselor, but that stuff cost a lot of money. Maybe I should just up my dose of medication and go into the pretty land with all the butterflies. I’m okay, everything will be okay. La de da.

Everything will not be okay, you know why? Cause I am broke, I have no money, I have to find a job, which there hard to come by, I probably won’t be able to go to college anymore, my life is falling to pieces, and I am getting bitched out about it while its happening. Where’s my mother fucking happy place now!? Huh? WHERE!? On the fucking street I am sure. Maybe I am being dramatic or maybe that is my reality. I don’t know yet. Fuck.

Have you ever lost everything you owned? I left all of my worldly possessions behind before but knew that one day I would get them back, but never lost it, pawned it, sold it all. And I don’t want to. But it may be evitable. Make you rethink what’s important to you, my collection of pogs, or food. ( I really do have a collection of pogs, want to trade?)

Well enough, have a good new year, stick with the resolutions, or do what I do and don’t set any that way you won’t fail.

Cheers.